Pondering on friendship...

I've been pondering of friendship lately.   I realized that I am not a person who will have tons of friends.   I've always been like that since primary school I guess.   I learned fast that others can take advantage of you and somehow my heart had shut down on future friendship...   Oh don't take me wrong, I have one close friend when I was in high school but somehow we lost contact when we left for college.   Then we reconnected when she had her 15 years conventum (a year after mine) and lost contact again...  Then I found her on facebook but then I got sick in my stomach with facebook and I scraped most of the supposively friendship I had.   No really Facebook made me realize how fake some of those friendship were.    The kind of friendship that say hi only when it is convenient or only when you go to church...  Mind you sinice we are planting a church ourselves, we left the mother church without others thinking much about us I think.   Why am I saying this?   Well, nobody called or e-mailed to ask how things were going...   Except one or two that I would consider friends.    One of them left for Cochrane, AB to finish her master in divinity.  The other is homeschooling as well but her kids are older than mine.

Speaking of friends moving away - I got my share lately....   Last year, it was friends who moved to Winnipeg.  Since then, we made the effort to call once in a while but honestly I feel like it's a one side thing.    So I am wondering how close was that friendship???   Then, Rob sister, her husband and their two sons left for Vancouver earlier this year.    That too bad but hey a guy has to go where there is job to support his family.   So I understand.   It just sucks that we won't have physical contact with my nephews...   Oh well.  Then I though I had some sort of friendship with an older woman but again because we left our mother-church to plant another church, well that friendship sort of went on the ice...

Then my friend and her family moved to Cochrane.   Her daughter went to school with Alexandre and they are close.    We "joke" about the fact that they might marry someday.   Hey we never know...    Anyhow, these two are close and even call themselves boyfriend/girldfriend.    I want Alexandre to cultivate this friendship so we will write to his friend Emily during the next two years.

But friendship for myself???   Right now, I must say that it's pretty platonic.    I know that Jesus is my best friend and I do have internet friends but meeting with someone who lives in Pennsylvania or Cochrane, Alberta on a regular basis is kind of hard don't you think?    So I give it up to God - totally.   After all He knows what kind of friend is best for me.   I won't be looking.  He will have to make things happens. 

But just in case....  Here's some of my requirements:  Someone who would like to read, take walks, christian, interested in crafts (mostly stamping and scrapbooking), camping, homeschooling (possibly - or at least encourage me to continue), skating (okay it has been years since I did this but hubby doesn't enjoy it so I figure a girlfriend might like it), shopping, someone who would lift me up (not put me down), someone who will move heaven and earth to take my out because she knows I need a break from the kids, someone who will laugh with me and cry with me...   Mmmm!  My list could go on and on.   But I sure hope that I will find such a friend eventually. 

In the meantime, hubby wants to give me a break and suggested that I go to the trailer by myself for a day or two.  Problem is - I hate driving bymyself on long distance.    I hate going to eat somewhere by myself also.    So I guess I have to work on these aspects of me...    because I do need the time by myself -desperately!