Home alone

For the first time in thirteen years, my husband left the house for a week of training.

In the past, we went to training together – I’m thinking our church planting course a few years ago.

Not this time…   The opportunity was open for Rob.  God opened more doors to make it possible.   It is a perfect fit for him.

So on Sunday, he took the plane at 830 in the morning and won’t be back until next Saturday in the afternoon around 4pm.

Me…. I braced myself for being emotional.   I was – a bit.   The kids reacted differently… during that Sunday.

We couldn’t go to church because dear daughter woke up with a HUGE rash all over her upper body and face.   She had had fever a couple of days before.  I went to the Renfrew Hospital to get her checked.   They couldn’t do anything for a 24 hour fever apparently.

But last night, when I put the boys to bed I saw that Jérémy had some sort of rash – different than his sister however.  It was itchy…

So this morning, I braced myself and went to the clinic with four kids in tow as well as Nintendo DS, iPods and iPad.

We waited patiently…

Turns out that Jérémy has poison ivy.   Apparently he went to play in the bush either around the RV or around the zodiak.

Jasmine on the other hand – I still don’t know what it is.  

Both have cream as both are itchy.  Different rashes but same effect…

Both got swapped for strep.

Back home, the adventure of the Monday was not complete.   I had sent my oldest son to dig the Slip ‘N Slide for later this week.

He found it all right – along with manipulating a box with Javex in it… which cause wreck on his clothes.  A good pair of short and a t-shirt with iron man wrecked….   I loved these shorts.

So I send him for a shower….  He was singing a Christmas song on top of his long.  Yes it is July 4th by the way…

Then the mailman came with a box from one of the publishers from which I review with five books inside.  I’ve been waiting for them but Canada Post was on strike in June…  They arrived FINALLY!

Then I received an email from a new company I contacted, they want me to review some of their products – more games coming our way.

Lastly, I will receive a new DVD with art lessons from See The Light.  

Now my kids ages 3 to 10 wants to watch an episode of Little House in The Prairie with me.

The day started crazy… it finishes beautifully.

I was suppose to do work on my courses… haven’t find the time yet.

There is always tomorrow!

Fall Frustration

I find people are irresponsible these days.    Not only teenagers but adults as well.
The past few weeks after Halloween, it seems to be always the same thing.   People just leave their pumpkins on their porch or at the end of their driveway and on week-ends while most people are sleeping, younger people come and crash them in the middle of the streets or right in front of our mail area.  
How hard would it be to pick up the pumpkins and put them in your green recycle bin for garbage day? 
Two weeks ago we had the whole section where we go pick up the mail smashed with pumpkins.  Yuck!    I thought of going with my oldest and pick it up but never got around to it.   Someone did…  I wonder if it is the postal services that came or the city or it could be a neighbour which is located in front of that area.   Anyhow, it got picked up.  Thank you whoever did it…
This morning though, we woke up with pumpkins smashed in front of our house and our other neighbour.    In the street mind you but still….
One half pumpkin was right in the way for our truck when we back up.  We were going to church.   So I went and picked it up and put it on our grass with the plan to put it in our green bin when we come back.
Well an hour and 30 minutes later, as we are coming back, I realize that the said pumpkin that I picked up earlier is back in the street to say the least.   Now, let me tell you that it didn’t walk there by itself – no sir.    Someone deliberately threw it again there.    Mmmm!     Makes me think that it is someone living in the area – a teenager more than likely.   Great!
Hubby took the green bin and picked up ALL the pumpkin mess that was in the street.  There was at least three to four pumpkins for sure.  Now the street is cleaned up and cars can go by without swerving all over the place. 
Geeez!

Baby it's hard in the world

Eveyrone around the world is experiencing hard times.

We thought we might not feel a thing since back in the 80s where there was a recession hubby didn't felt a thing because of being in the National Capital.

But this is a different time.   We are in 2009 now... and it hit hard everywhere.

We are currently looking in various options for us... for the company... for homeschooling.

I still have hope but the thread is thin.  very thin.

Only a miracle would help.   So God please bring contracts our way!  Thanks

ROOOOAAAAAR!

That's it....  I officially feel like a lioness in a cage.    I need to get out but I can't drive.   I want to go walk in a mall or something but I can't.

It is driving me nuts.   Literally.   

And it shows in my attitude I think.   I'm not myself.   I need to see something else than the 4 walls of our house.   HELP!

Unfortunately, my true friends live too far from me... to come and pick me up.   Like Heidi who is in Pennsylvania, or Lyne who lives outside of Montreal.   Shannon is in town but they are visiting family right now and they will go back to Cochrane, AB soon.   *sigh*  and I still have 2 weeks to go (actually 1 week and a half but it feels longer!).

I realize that I lack close friends and honestly I feel too old to try again (I got burned in the past - often!).   

Anyone wants to go out for coffee?

UPDATE:   After lunch that day - we went out!  Destination - ToysRUs, Costco, Wal-Mart and Micheal's...  a bit much but it was worth it...  I needed to go out and breath and walk outside of our 4 walls.   OUF!   I think I can last for another 2 weeks....

Broken heart

I’m at lost of words or actions.   Honestly I have no clue what to do…   And apart from my husband, I don’t know who to talk too or on which shoulder I should cry my heart out…  You see I called my mom yesterday to wish her a Merry Christmas and it didn’t went well.    My mom is not a Christian – Oh she believe in God according to her but she always says that her God and our God is not the same.   She is right.   She once told me her God (or Jesus) accepts everyone and everything…   You know the commandment – You shall not have any other God but me.   Well my mom has her own version of God.   Probably because she got burned by the Catholic church back in the 50s and 60s.   In Quebec, The Catholic Church had a lot of control back then.   Anyhow, it still has repercussion in the 21^st century unfortunately.    Quebec is searching in all the wrong places…   Many consider themselves Catholics but attendance in the church is down – go figure.    Many have ties in the New Age stuff.   Amazing the number of New Ages stores there is in Montreal alone.

Back to my story – so I called mom and the bubble exploded once again.  This time, I don’t know what to do.   You see my mom got abused from family when she was younger and her husband too   Not physically I think, but emotionally and verbally.   And in so many years (she is 64 now), she has built a HUUUUUGE wall around her for protection.   You think it’s easy to reach out.   Every time we try to visit, I think it goes well and then a couple or few months afterward, I get the entire negative… Comments are twisted to the negative and so on.   ARG!   Problem is I’m an only child – no brothers or sisters.   I don’t have support apart from my husband and he wonders why I continue to call.   I can’t leave her alone…  no matter what I do I will get it – the negative comments I mean! 

You must be wondering if we ever shared the Gospel with her.  The answer is yes.   I thought it had gone well…   I explained twice over a week-end the whole relationship with God thing and the choice was hers…  Well a bubble exploded a few months later.   Boy!   I wasn’t expecting it.  Since then, I have to ask to go down and most of the time I receive a NO.   Last time I saw her when was my girl was born.   Not that I didn’t try but what should I do?

Now my husband wanted me to ask her to come down.   I procrastinated and waited…  wanting to see an opportunity to ask but knowing deep down her answer.   She I didn’t do it.   And yesterday BAM!   The guilt over me…  but at the same time the rage about the whole thing.   Oh LORD what should I do.   I don’t know.

Now Hubby wants to go down next Sunday.  I say we respect her.   Whatever I do I know what awaits me… conflict, cries, negative comments…  and you know what?  I’m tired of this.   Sooooo tired.    I mean how can I explain to my kids we don’t see mamie often even when she lives about 2 hours 30 minutes from us?   Why they don’t talk on the phone to her?   Why she doesn’t send gifts?

You know what happened one day while Alexandre was talking to her on the phone and he asked her why she didn’t have Jesus in her heart?  Poor kid was 3 years old I think.   She hung up on him.  He looked at me and simply said “Mamie is not on the phone anymore.”  Breaks my heart.   Then I got the brainwashing talk…   She once told me that I was in a sect, that she didn’t understand why I rejected the Catholic faith and so on…   Mind you we never were practicing when I was younger going to church only at Christmas, Easter or when visiting my maternal grandmother.   I wasn’t perfect in the past, I made errors…  I try to apologize for the errors…  Really I did.   But my mom loves to live in the past – how her husband cheated on her and left, what I said and done, what her family did and so on…   So sad.

It breaks my heart.  I don’t know what to do.   Except praying that is but even that I wonder if it’s worth it…   I’m at the point I just want to throw the towel.  Give up in other words.  But I can’t…  Not giving up is my way of honoring her.  So what should  I do?

Even Hubby thinks she doesn’t deserve me and says I should stop calling her for a while.   I pointed out that it’s funny he says that and at the same time thinks we should go down immediately.    LOL He said   I’m right and that we should continue to reach out.  But does he understand that I am tired and my emotions are at a thin line on this subject?  I wonder.

So for now, knowing that she is emotionally instable and tired, I shall respect her wish to not go down but I need to visit her…soon.  

Every year from November until February it’s hard….   Her mom died on November 6^th one year – the day after my mom’s birthday.  Then a couple of year later, my mom discovered that my dad was cheating (that was in November too!) and he waited until February 14^th the following year to leave.   Fast forward a few years and my dad died on December 24^th 2000.   That did it.   My mom lost everything according to her because of this other woman.   Another one has got all the work that she has done in her life.    Another one is getting whatever my dad left behind.  You see what I mean.

For me it’s another thing from the past to deal with periodically.   Maybe I shouldn’t have called yesterday but it was Christmas day after all.

So honestly, what should I do?   My heart is broken for her.  I want to see her in Heaven with us.  But my hopes are crushed.  

I don’t know what to do anymore…

Help me God.

Touch her in any way.

Show her the Truth.

Protect her.

Bring forth a worker to bring her to you.  Family didn’t work so why not a stranger.

Bring her to church – a good one.

Transform her.  Save her.

Amen.

Please pray for me.   I need to be strong.

What a week-end!

It all started unexpectedly on Thusday night....  My husband who receives earlier this week a little booklet about protecting ourselves against identity theft, decided to check it credit at one of the credit bureau in Canada....

The next morning, I learn that someone is using his identity (earlier in December) to get a car...   Mmm!  Not fun whatsoever.   Car dealer is located in Fredericton, NB.   Far from were we live!

By the end of the day, we learned that credit were refused to the guy.   The guy offered to pay with a bank draft.   Salesman drove the vehicule in Montreal, QC where it was agreed to be picked up by the buyer.   A time was set so that the salesman can go to the bank to verify the bank draft.  The buyer shows up 7 hours later after the bank are closed and vendor just want to go home and let the car go and take the bankdraft which - you guessed it - it a fake one!   Car is worth 45 thousand!  Then we also learn that he tried to get a cell phone which credit was refused also...  Somehow we were protected.   Hubby had to call all the places where a credit hit was done and explain the situation.   Also called the RCMP, the car dealer, Rogers, all our banks/credit cards companies.   The guy has all personal information and business information of my husband including the social insurance number.   ARG!   Tomorrow, we need to contact the department who takes care of the SIN, Canada Post to make sure no address changes have been done, and Revenue Canada just in case.    And hubby wants to get more booklet from the insurance company who send it to us so he can give some to others.   Bottom line, we learned that whoever did this probably had hubby's information from many years.   The salary he declared was the salary my husband made in 2004.

I pray that somehow God will pour tons of guilt on the guy.  I pray that he is caught while trying to make new transactions...  I pray that they found the car he stole... but more than likely it is on a boat on it's way to Africa from what we learned.   He also tried to get another car in Trois-Rivières. QC.   I'm praying Ephesians 4:28 on him.  

All this happened on Jasmine's birthday.

Today - what is schedule is her birthday party and it's my husband birthday too!   But there was a snow storm.... and some friends who moved to Cochrane, AB were suppose to sleep over.  But it won't happen and they were still suppose to come but because of the snow... well they are not coming.   Both Alexandre and their daughter Emilie were crying.   You see we have promised them they would see each other during Christmas time...  Well now we need to arrange another meeting but this time just them and us.   It will be better.    Other friends were suppose to come but I don't know if they will face the snow storm if they decide to come - you see their 1 month son is back at the hospital for a possible minimum stay of 48 hours.   I learned that from Facebook when Julia wrote a note at 453am.   Since then - nothing.  Don't know what is going on...   Their son has been in the hospital at birth because of pneumonia and it lasted almost 2 weeks...   Poor peanut.  

So you can see why I wrote What a week-end! as a title....    It was quite hectic!!!

Sleeping issues?

Well...  Three more weeks to go - three weeks where I sure hope I can sleep well at night.   Right now, there is only one side I am comfortable and after a while my leg hurt.  So I switch sides and since the baby is mostly on that side it hurts even more so back on the original side...  ARG!   Back is out of question obviously...

I do have a body pillow... but somehow it is not doing the comfy part this time.   So I take the sleep I have and pray that I will go through my day - homeschooling included!

Another issue we have is figuring out what to do for when my mom will come down.   We lost our guest room since Jérémy is in there...  So we thought to put the three boys together but I am wondering if this is wise...   We need to go borrow a single bed at my in-laws - Alexandre will sleep on this one directly on the floor and mom will take his bed.   Dominic's bed we can move easily...

Talking of bed - I was away for the week-end at a leadership training with a bunch of other women from my church.   My dear husband decided to vacuum under our bed which means removing the mattress than the splitted boxspring.   Problem is the footboard broke.  Oh he fixed it all right but now we need to glue some wood and color it...   I guess there was not enough screws holding it!   Oh well... It is just furniture after all...

Ever...

...being judge about something that you know is totally untrue?   How have you reacted?

I am asking because it happened to me recently and I am still fuming inside...  I think it is totally unjust from someone to pass comments on things of your life when that person don't even know either your past or how dedicated you are....

It frustrates me like there is no words for it. 

I want God to always remind me how I felt so that I will not this to someone else.

ARG!

Why or why do I need to deal with some things sometimes???   I am frustrated about a couple of things nothing related to homeschooling fortunately.  But other stuff...  I don't want to go into details because I don't believe that a blog should be a place to vent about people but I do need prayer in this area.

I trust that God can guide others to pray for me.   So you will understand why I am not giving more details here.   I just needed to ask for prayers.

Apart from that, the day is good...   Husband went to meet with two clients (one in the morning, one in the afternoon).  We need to bring some stuff at Value Village a second-hand store to empty the garage...  Alexandre is doing his maths right now, Dominic is bring very nice with Jérémy and Jérémy is over his temper tantrum of this morning.   OUF!   Already I am a bit tired but I will go with the flow trusting that God will give me strength, patience and understanding for the other stuff.

In Him...

Frustration...

Today is a day of frustration...  I dropped off Alexandre as his day camp and then I went to the pharmacy to mail something.   Well going out, I spot the garbage bin and on the ground next to it, empty container from DQ and McDonald's.   No really... how hard is it to put the darn stuff IN the garbage instead than on the ground...

That's when I lifted my eyes and saw plastic containers in the parking lot.   Driving to the grocery story to get some margarine and other little things, more garbages everywhere on the ground.

Literally pisses me off...  I just can't believe how people are selfish sometimes.   Now if I would have had some platic gloves, I might have picked a few but with the quantity I saw all the way back home (including parks mind you), I would have work from the next 4 months I think.

Personally, I try very hard to make the effort to keep my garbage in the van and to throw them when I see a garbage bin or at home.   If everyone would do this, I think our environment would be a little bit better... don't you think?

LOST....

A couple of weeks ago, we had a team from Alabama coming to sing in the park and help us reach out to the community.   We had a blast and it was great...   For the event, we have been asked to lent the clown costumes we have so that some of the young adults could use them to entertain the  people in the park.,,

On the Friday we had the grand finale at Saunders Farm before they went back to Alabama.   That's when the costumes disappeared...  Nobody seem to know where they are.   They were in one of the buses at one point but when a friend went to go get them, buses were gone.  Asked the bus drivers to check in the buses and nothing turned out...   So we contacted the team in Alabama, they don't have them...

These costumes were hand-made by my mom and we used them in Dominican Republic when we went in 2005.  

Below is a picture of the costumes...   I have little hope to see them again.  But I know my church will replace them somehow...

Not sure what I am expecting by posting this issue here...  Who knows, they might turn up somewhere.   I particularly liked the two pieces one, the material had bunch of colored hearts on it...

Not feeling too good...

As my title suggest, I am not in my plate today.   Depression, discouragement, sadness beyond words...  Well you name it, I feel like this.  I know I need to kick my butt and move on but I can't help to feel pity on myself.

Even with my devotion this morning, I didn't get better...

So many things in my head... from summer student to my mom.   I am the kind of person who takes it on her when it doesn't go well and this is how I feel right now.   WIsh I could resolve all problems but I can't.

I've got a high blood pressure headache that do not want to go away...  Just want to go to bed.  Don't feel like having fun...

Oh my.... what a mess!

I am TOTALLY discourage every time I get into my office... Even with the purchase of the desk organizer I got while going in NY state, it is quite messy... Books everywhere, paper everywhere, stuff from Alexandre everywhere, a couple of shorts or pants from the husband somewhere on the floor... notebooks ie journals for the boys and mine somewhere in a corner...   I can't seem to get over the pile of things that keeps accumulating.   Does anyone has a solution to paper junk?  Arg!   it drives me nuts.

Now to top it off I have two toys to test... one gross with Venon and glue stuff to catch Spider-Man and a game called BAM (Brain A Mania) with tiles that has braille on it.   Kind of interesting.  Just need to find time to do them.

On another matter, I calculate the number of people coming for Alexandre's birthday party and I thought that I might be short of cake... so I cooked some cupcakes.   The cake he will have is made of cupcakes but the icing is illustrating a racing track with Lightning McQueen on it...  Cool!   So I made chocolate cupcakes... while hubby was away this morning since cooking chocolate with him in the house can give him massive headaches.  Yes my hubby doesn't like chocolate that much.   More for me and the boys!!!

Oh and we got a Lightning McQueen pinata and Dominic and I filled it this morning with Dollar store candies.   Mmmm!   We had fun.

Well, that's about it... Still can't figure out where to put everything.   I think I'll take pictures of Alexandre's art stuff and dump it in the recycling bin.   At least I will have memories.  Can't keep everything for sure...

I am waiting patiently for my Come Sit by Me curriculum.    Alexandre is finishing school this Thursday.   Soon we will try to take some advance with Math and French....   Especially on those very hot days.

End of the week...

Here's what happened this week...

First I went to play group and helped wash the toys.  We were lucky because we had only the baby toys to do...  Now I couldn't bring towels since I had a washer problem that Sunday and we had emptied the freezer to thaw it so I washed... 

Tuesday was an appointment for Alexandre at the doctor to get his warts burned...  Poor kid!  He is like his mom - catching everything from the public swimming pool...

Wednesday was our anniversary.   We went to see Pirates of the Carribbean III - At World's End.  I liked it even though I was not feeling so good... My sinuses bugged me.  Oh I also went for a blood test the morning...  

Thursday, I went to the clinic close to home and got diagnosed with sinusitis.  The doctor wasn't too keen to give me medication (it wasn't my family doctor...) but when I told her that if I don't get anything it will turn into a bronchitis and when she realized that I had sinusitis/bronchitis about 5 weeks ago, she did gave me a prescription.  OUF!

Friday - today... I have trouble breathing...   Bronchitis is there as I suspected.   Hopefully by tomorrow I will feel better...  We have a birthday party to go to - my nephew will be 4 later this month...

Now I just have to find the time and the energy to do the cake for Alexandre who will turn 6 later this month...   Buying one would be 30$...   He really wants the Lighting McQueen cake I did for his brother Dominic.   Just need the energy really and the courage to start it.

One more down...

My washer is leaking...  Water coming out of it and my laundry room was sort of flooded...

So now the debate is should we get it repaired or just go for a new one.   As if we needed this!!!   A decision need to be made sometime soon because we won't last without a washer very long.

Arg!   First the dishwasher, now the washer...  What's next?

Not so good day...

I've being feeling cranky, crabby and emotional all day...  And tired too!  Oh boy! Sooooo tired.   Mind you, I know why I am tired but still somehow today it is harder to control the crankiness and the emotions.

I just watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition... Another show that made me cry... My heart is heavy right now for various reasons and it didn't help to watch this.

Oh boy!   My dear husband gave me a Chicken Soup for the Soul Mother & Son book and this is another one that makes me cry...

Crying is good but when you are tired, ouf, it is exhausting...

I am planning to go to bed early today - after the swimming courses mind you.  Need to drag myself there...  don't really feel like it.

Sickness around the house...

Yesterday I woke up having trouble breathing and my sinuses bugging me...   I got an appointment with my own doctor at 430pm.   There he diagnosed me with bronchitis and sinusitis.   As if I need this.   But hey there is a reason and maybe I need to learn to slow down a bit and not do too much...

This morning, Jeremy woke up with a bad cough.   So I brought him to the clinic close to home since it is hard to see our own doctor.   Fortunately his lung and broncos are clear as well as his throat.   But he does have croup.

So...   I was trying very hard to get someone to come for about 1 hour because I wanted to go to the open house at the school BUT since nobody is available... I will take the time for a nap.  I need to rest.  And I will put the humidifier on in the baby's room.  Hopefully, his croup won't last too long...  It's not fun to take care of sick kids when you are in bad shape yourself.

One of those days...

It all started this morning, as I forgot that one of our employees would arrive while we were going to the chiro...  So as we left, I put the alarm on the house.  Well you can imagine what happened... the alarm went on when he got into the house.   So my stress level went up a notch...

In the afternoon, the kids arrived (mine plus 4 other ones I look after for 30 minutes after school) and there was a bit of problems on the boys side.   The girls were crafting.   But the boys kept bugging each other.   Oh well...

Now I feel totally tired somehow.    I was able to organized my pictures from Feb-April so far...  So I am planning to put picture up for the field trips we made in the last little while...  It will come...