Monday, May 18, 2009

Hero - Becoming the Man She Desires

Hero – Becoming The Man She Desires
By Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey and Jasen Stoeker
Published by Waterbrook

What the book is all about.
You already know it’s not easy being a single man in this culture today. But it is easy to be overwhelmed, to feel helpless and hopeless about living by God’s high standards for singles. It’s easy to cave in to the pressures of this sex-soaked world and accept defeat—blaming the media, the culture, even girlfriends who don’t know how tough it can be.

But many men have read books like Every Young Man’s Battle and Tactics and have committed themselves to stand strong and pure in the power of God, and to go on the offensive against the onslaught of negative stereotypes. Some have suffered. Some have fallen. But many have experienced victory—and you can be among them.

What makes those committed men so desirable to women? Be Her Hero is their motto.

From best-selling author Fred Stoeker, along with his son Jasen, come the straightforward insight and real-life examples you’re looking for to help you take personal purity to its logical conclusion. Here’s straight truth with irrefutable evidence of what makes an ultimate hero to women who long for men of faith—men who stand by their convictions and make their world a safer and better place.

Are you ready to accept the challenge?

The authors
Fred Stoeker is a best-selling author of several books, including Every Young Man’s Battle and Tactics, the president of Living True Ministries, and a popular conference speaker who challenges men to become sexually pure, to reconnect in true intimate relationship with their wives, and to train their sons to become godly men. A graduate of Stanford University, Fred lives in Des Moines, Iowa with his wife, Brenda, and their children.

Mike Yorkey, a writer living in Encinitas, California, has collaborated with Fred Stoeker in all his books for the Every Man’s series.

Jasen Stoeker is a popular conference speaker who challenges young men to be heroic in their relationships with women and to be a Christian, rather than just seem like one. Jasen is a graduate of Iowa State University with degrees in Computer Engineering and Computer Science and now lives in Minneapolis, MN, with his wife Rose.

My thoughts on the book
It was interesting to get the opportunity to review this book. After all I am a woman! But I was glad I received the book (even with the little delay that happened due to postal services) and finally started reading it last week. I am not done with the reading part but I am impressed by what I have read so far.

Basically, this book is the third of a series. It can be read separately from the two other ones. The first one is titled Every Young Man’s Battle which confronted male sexuality within the context of him and his sexual vulnerabilities. The second book is Tactics which confronted sexuality within the context of his relationship with God and with his Christian brothers. In this book, Hero, the context is his relationship with women.

This book is aimed for young men and how to stand up and be strong in a world which is bombarding them with various sexual enticements. The author, with the help of his son and his daughter-in-law, goes through 9 strongholds that most young men believe regarding sex in the hopes that the reader (any young men, really) would be able to break their strongholds. For each stronghold (lie) the author uses God’s truth and his stories, as well as his son and daughter-in-law’s stories, to help the reader to overcome the lies and come out victorious.

As much as I want my boys to stay pure for their future wives, I am unsure that I want them to go to the extreme of what Jasen did. For example, in grade 7th, this boy made the decision to get out of an English class because he was unsure of the movie they were going to see. There was a possibility of having sexual connotation as well as bad languages and since he knew his parents had not seen the movie and didn’t know if it was appropriate or not, the boy asked to be dismissed. As much as I am impressed by this strength, I am wondering if he could have asked about getting more details before asking to be dismissed. We also experienced this while our youngest son was in senior kindergarten a few years ago. We know for a fact that the kids were watching some cartoons that we didn’t approve for a 5 year old. That and other situations enforced our decision of looking into homeschooling. I hope that someday my boys will be wise enough to step up to the plate of not watching something degrading when they are older. However, at the same time, I hope they will be able to stay informed on what is going on.

Let me give you an example, I was participating to a women in position of leadership group at the church we used to go. One of the themes we discussed was about protecting our mind. We have been told that it is important to select wisely what we read or watch on television/movies. Me, being a passionate person and thinking that it is important to know what is going on, I asked about the popularity of the Da Vinci Code (both book and movie) and the popular book The Secret. I mean to be able to converse with non-christian, I think it is necessary to know what the hype is all about don’t you think? Well I have been told that I should avoid this kind of information at all cost. I disagreed because I have seen the book The Secret at my own mother’s place and wanted to know what it was about.

I am not saying that young men should start watching porn – far from that. This is a totally different issue and Fred Stoeker do explain very well how some movies are damaging for whoever look at them. Consequently, I approve the wisdom of checking out the rating and the description of the movie by going to sites like Focus on the Family or I am also appalled on how parents bring their young kids to violent movies like Spider-Man or HULK. I’ve seen kids younger than mine going to these and some were frightened. It’s simply sad. But this is a total different issue.

The purpose of the book is to help young men to respect the women in their life and to take the step up and control their sexual impulses. By controlling what goes in your mind, it is one step further toward success.

One thing for sure is that I am keeping this book for the future as I have three boys myself. I want them to be a hero for their future spouse and I pray that they will be gentlemen and respect all women they come in contact with. I also pray that they will be an example of what a true man can be to their little sister (she is barely 17 months now) but I want her to see godly examples of what a guy should be in her life. With her dad and her three brothers, I know she will be protected until she found her own hero.

Having said this, I must inform my readers that I am not completely done with the book. I will continue to read it until I am done. But I think I got the big idea of this book and I hope that I encourage you to look into it – either from a parent perspective or from a young man perspective.

And you know what; even with good intentions sometimes we make errors. Don’t beat yourself up. Bring it to God and be honest about it. Ask for help from mentors in your life – pastor, father, brother, friend you can trust. It is a battle out there. You can stand firm and face it.
Hero is available everywhere.

You can get it at and as well.

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