Walking With Jesus

A fellow blogger participating to the TOS Homeschool Crew is having this interesting Meme going on titled Walking With Jesus.    And this year as part of my blogging experience, I want to write more by participating in some of these meme going on around the blogosphere.
The idea behind Walking With Jesus is quite simple.  You have to blog about a Scripture verse that has been with you throughout this week, or yesterday or today.  Quite simple and easy to do.
So for this week, while doing devotions a verse struck me.

“Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.  Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.”  Psalm 131:2

Some of you might wonder where I am going with this but what struck me was the notes attached to this particular verse.  The notes are taken from the Transformation Bible.
Here’s what I’ve read…

The simile of the weaned child is a beautiful picture of the meaning of humility and maturity.   Hebrew children were weaned at age three or four, and this experience marked the end of their infancy.  But most children do not want to be deprived of mother’s loving arms and satisfying breasts, and they feel rejected and unwanted.  But after the crisis of birth, each child must eventually be weaned and learn the first lesson in the school of life: Growing up involves painful losses that can lead to wonderful gains.

Then is went on for part b of the verse with

God’s goal for us is emotional and spiritual maturity (1 Cor 13:11; 14:20’ Eph 4:13-15), and God sometimes has to wean us away from good things in order to give us better things.   Abraham had to leave his family and city, send Ishmael away, separate from Lot, and put Isaac on the altar.  To accept God’s will in the losses, and gains of life is to experience that inner calm that is so necessary if we are to be mature people.

Then I asked God the following questions…

• is HEAT a painful lesson for me?
• Why don’t I want to let go?
• Do I need to let go and grieve?
• Then we will have wonderful gains…?

For those of you who are wondering what HEAT is (or was), well it was our church plant.   We tried to plant a different kind of church in the downtown area but with the lack of volunteers and regular attendants, the church didn’t took off.   At one point, we had to shut the doors (back in November 2009) due to the leadership team being too small.    Since then, I’ve  been struggling, trying to convince my husband to restart but to no success.

So after asking these questions – I sensed a YES in my soul.   I need to let go.  I need to grieve HEAT and let go.    Let our baby go.   Peace swept inside me.   I share with my husband and he feels at peace as well.  
Since this, another leader expressed the wish to take over with his wife.   Maybe it was meant to be.   They are more gifted to reach out to the rave community than us in many ways.    However, we have told them to have at least 20 regular people before re-starting the church services and that we would be willing to be mentors for them – things we didn’t have when we planted.    HEAT is planning an event in July with a DJ coming all the way from Pennsylvania.    And another event are in the drawing for September.   We will participate as much as we can – encourage the team to pursue and continue to reach out.  

Hubby says a rock has been lifted up from his shoulders.   Me I am still grieving.   But I am encourage that God will bless us in the process.  The seed has been planted.  HEAT is recognized for their cool decors and clean raves.   Let me tears grow the seed now.   

I’m heartbroken.   I pray that God will also bring us to a church family who will love us and uplift us.   A church where we can get involved in ways we cannot imagine right now.    Amen.

I've also took the liberty to create a button to go with this blog post.