Thursday, March 17, 2011

Stop Reacting and Start Responding

New-Cover-Perspective1Stop Reacting and Start Responding – 108 ways to Discipline Consciously and Become the Parent You Want to Be
Written by Sharon Silver, Parent Educator

About the Book

You, like any other par­ent, want to be the best par­ent you can be. All par­ents have times when parental reac­tions replace think­ing. It’s at that moment when you want to be reminded of how you’ve cho­sen to par­ent. It’s at that moment when you need your restraint to kick-in. It’s at that moment when you want to use con­scious dis­ci­pline so you can respond, not sim­ply react and punish—again.

This book is for par­ents who have chil­dren ages one through ten. I focus on that age group because I firmly believe that ages one through ten are the foun­da­tional years of life, the time when par­ents are learn­ing to par­ent, and chil­dren are just learn­ing about life. What’s cre­ated dur­ing those years tends to dic­tate how the rest of child­hood and par­ent­ing will go. It’s also the eas­i­est time to change your par­ent­ing style, before reac­tion habits are set in stone for both par­ent and child.

Believe me when I tell you I’m not an advo­cate of strict or per­mis­sive par­ent­ing. I’m not at all inter­ested in let­ting chil­dren off-the-hook. Quite the oppo­site, in fact, ask my kids! I am an advo­cate of lov­ing, sup­port­ive, empa­thetic, firm, clear, and unyield­ing par­ent­ing which respect­fully teaches chil­dren about behav­ior and life. That’s what I describe as Dis­ci­plin­ing Con­sciously.

This book shares new ways to look at and apply con­scious dis­ci­pline with­out react­ing, while still being firm enough to cre­ate change. In other words, the book shows you how to cre­ate a bal­ance between the job of cor­rect­ing a child and lov­ing a child.

Who is Sharon Silver?

Sharon Silver has lived what every parent is living: a real life, parenting real children. Sharon is an parenting educator, speaker, coach, and radio and TV host with an intuitive understanding of the challenges parents face. Educated in parenting and early childhood development, with four certifications as a Parent Educator, she is a former facilitator for both The Cline/Fay Institute and Redirecting Children's Behavior, as well as an founder of Proactive Parenting.

Sharon Silver is a proud mom, an educator and a powerful speaker. Her sense of humor, and teaching style, make her easy to listen to, and creates a trustworthy environment for learning. Her mission has always been to create programs that help parents focus on what else can be done instead of going straight to punishment. Proactive Parenting™ is the result of that mission.

Sharon has worked in Corporate America, for small and large businesses, as well as owned her own comedy club with her husband of 31 years. As a result, Sharon understands the pressure parents face each day as they try to balance all that’s on their plates.

She has been a radio and TV host, and is currently the host of Stop Reacting-Start Responding on

Through Proactive Parenting, Sharon does telephone and online seminars for corporations and working parents, does live seminars, locally and around the country, and is a public speaker for events of all kinds.

Over the past 18 years, parents, public and private school teachers, colleges, day-care directors and providers, corporations and service groups have all benefited from the programs and speeches she gives about how to use a balanced, real-life approach when disciplining, teaching and raising children. 

Sharon’s commitment to children and families resulted in her appearance on an episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show called “Hitting, Spanking, Smacking: Should it happen to your child?”

Her passion for helping families and parenting can also be found when she contributes to, and

My Thoughts

At first I wasn’t so sure why I requested this book as it isn’t Christian based.  But after going through the various ways to help me to stop reacting and respond to my kids, I must say that even though this book isn’t Christian based per say, it was a wonderful eye opener on how I tend to react instead of taking a breather.    Think about it.   You are tired and you child is whining like there is no tomorrow…  Why is the first reaction you will have after asking nicely to stop?  Yeah I figure you will say that…. the tone of voice goes up and sometimes we yell.

I love my kids and I know that yelling is not an answer.   I am willing to do whatever is necessary for me to reduce this reaction because I don’t like it.    This little book has helped me realize that reaction shouldn’t be the first thing coming out of me.   I should take the time to respond to the child.   Take the time to understand him or her.   To talk it out.  To guide them in expressing their feelings.   To discover what the issue behind the behaviour is all about.  I’ve discovered wonderful techniques on becoming a better mom, a better listener, a better encourager.   Some of these we are already practicing while other are interesting.   I also disagree with some like the giving the child a choice.   It is my experience that giving choices at a young age is not good.   I find that kids before the age of 5 years old won’t understand the concept.  

I particularly like her STRR acronym.   Stop.  Think. Realize. Resolve.  It is good for children but for parents too.    It is important to stop and think before having a reaction.  This will avoid many problems I find.    Then realizing what the problem is will help to find a solution to resolve it. 

I have a child that shut himself when he is upset.   I don’t like it much.  I would prefer if he would speak to me (without whining obviously).   Through these pages I have found some techniques that I want to apply with him to see if something will change.  

The author will present various ways to deal with behaviour, choices, feelings, frustration, grandparents, learning, public places, power struggle, reaction, real life, rules, self-esteem, separation anxiety, siblings and travel.    Each point will have one or two pages and concludes with a quick view of what you have just learned.  I find the quick view very useful as it permits me to go back and revise something on a specific subject.  The book was specifically written for parents who have children ages one to ten years old.   

Bottom line this book will help you to stay in control and your kids to stay kids.     If you ask me I think that it is an interesting book for any family.

The book can be purchase directly from Proactive Parenting.

Disclaimer: Thanks to the author for sending me the pdf version of the featured product for review purpose. I was not monetarily compensated for this review. Please note that the review was not influenced by the sponsor in any way.  All opinions expressed here are only my own.

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